I think I am morally bankrupt
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
