Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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