therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
