it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
this hospital has no fireball
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
