it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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