She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
