I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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