yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize