dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
