cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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