i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
