Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
