You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
