I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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