she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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