I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
