just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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