I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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