he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
