2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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