Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
