wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
