my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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