I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
