My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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