OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
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