oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
