I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
