Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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