No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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