I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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