I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
