I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
