i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize