...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
