Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
