Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
