i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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