theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
