I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
