You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
