i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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