just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
