THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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