He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
