Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
