i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
