Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
