I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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