Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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