I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he fucked my hip out of place.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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