Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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