My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
