Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
