no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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