you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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