I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
