So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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