i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
where are you?
Hypothermia
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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