Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
